called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
