Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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