This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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