new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
