He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize