How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
