All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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