One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
