dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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