yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
