cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
