There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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