Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's blow job season.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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