ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Randomize
