Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
