There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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