All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
