I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
