My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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