And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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