What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
