You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
