I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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