Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
