Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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