I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The uberlube is also flammable
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
