The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
