Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
