He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
