so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
