I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
