I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
