The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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