oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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