"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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