Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
