Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
