cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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