When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
