It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
