Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize