3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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