Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Someone shit on the floor
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
