i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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