Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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