You're so nebulous sometimes
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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