hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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