The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
