i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
