You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
