I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize