Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
