Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
