Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
