11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
