i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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