Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize