I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
