I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
