Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize