Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
