No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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