he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
