If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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