I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize