You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
