My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
