I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
