Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
