Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
