i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
